More Black Belt Stitching Wizard Stuff

Friday, April 09, 2010

Have You Seen My WW Mojo???

If you're a long time reader of mine, then you know that I used to be overweight and over the last two years I've lost just over 60lbs through Weight Watchers meetings.  For two years I had this drive/focus/determination to loose my weight and be healthy!  I did just that, I lost my weight a few pounds at a time and slowly I became a more active person, overcoming a lot of my old obstacles/metal roadblocks.

In the last six weeks I have struggled, oh boy I have struggled!  I've become frustrated and just disgusted with myself.  While I was away in the D.R. I put on 2.5lbs (food choices most of the time were beyond my control, but portions were), while the other ladies I went with lost 3-4lbs each!  How frustrating!  I put it down to my body turning the carbs we ate (it was a very high carb diet) right to fat.  Then when I returned I tried to eat properly and be active, but I ran into another roadblock where I just can't easily control myself and what I eat, that's the Knowledge and Needles retreat.  I put on another 2.5 lbs that week, boy my new jeans, I could barely do them up after that!  Next was the week of my brithday, again more lack of control more bad choices. 

So I went from 146 on March 3rd before my trip (perfect, my goal weight is 145)
I guestimated 147 on March 9th since I was unable to weigh myself
When I got back 148.5 on March 16 prior to tretreat
Then up again to 151 on March 23 after tretreat but before my b-day
I dropped 2 lbs to 149 on March 30th after my b-day (not bad)
After Easter, this Tuesday 0lbs stayed at 149 (not a gain so can't really complain)
For April 13th I don't have high hopes the way this week has gone the best I can hope for is another 0

So as you can see the numbers aren't going the way I wish they would.

All of this really is my fault, I'm not stopping myself when I know I should, at times not tracking so accurately, sometimes "creatively".  My brain knows its all a matter of smart choices, portion control, weighing and measuring, proper tracking and moving more.  Somehow I just can't do this 100% lately.  I feel bloated and gross (I know should I really complain I'm still way ahead of where I used to be, but I'm not where I want to bed), my pants are tight, and I don't like that feeling, its this constant reminder that I'm not currently at the right weight.

So I've been waking up each day with the resolve to start fresh, to get back on track and to have a 100% on program day.  A few days each week I have been able to do that, eat right, track right, and move more.  On the other hand there seems to be more days were I slip up and loose that control for a little while and eat something I didn't intend to, but then not have just one, but two or three.  So I know what I need to work on, I know how to loose weight.  I just have to push through, find my WW Mojo and get back to goal before April is out!

My home is always set up to be the right environment for me and food, there are no temptations in the house, no sweets (my weakness), I do have acceptable point-friendly sweet things in the house, just not my "red light foods" (foods that once you start eating you can't stop until its gone).  I have a great 3km circuit I can run during fair weather, and a treadmill in the basement for poor weather.  So there are really no excuses, its all up to me.

I just had to get this all down and out there.  Hopefully clearing the air will help me get focused this weekend and continue my next week in the right direction.  I want feel good about myself, my body and get that scale going in the right direction!

So after my whining, complaining and beating myself over the head, would you like to see some stitching????  I have been working on my focus project this week, Teresa Wentzler's Celestial Dragon and its moving along nicely!  I finished the top left hand corner and have moved onto the top right hand corner.  If all goes well maybe I'll be moving onto the bottom corners early next week.
Celestial Dragon

Happiness Corner (Chinese charachters are stitched over one)

29 comments:

Bette said...

Oh, how I can sympathize with you Dani. I need to lose about 60 lbs and just can't seem to get started on it. I have the gym equipment and all the diet books and still can't get motivated. If you figure it out, let me know how you did it. Your celectial dragon is beautiful. I've been thinking of stitching it for Chris.

Angela said...

I completely understand your weight frustrations! I recently lost almost 80 lbs through a forced healthier eating plan but now that my Gallbladder is out the temptations are creeping back in and even though it's just a little here and a little there the weight is slowly creeping back on :) I need to motivate myself to stay on track as well as the last thing I ever want to do is regain any of that weight back again, I feel soooo much better now than before. Your stitching looks wonderful, hope you have a great weekend!

drea_dear said...

I'm also trying to lose about 60 pounds. I struggle with losing through food choices alone - I love to eat too much. I have to add exercise in. I was doing a Leslie Sansone Walk At Home DVD - I did it every day for a week, gained 2 lbs of muscle, lost 1/2 inch off my waist...and promptly caught a cold, which threw me off track, and I haven't been able to get back. I have to treat each day as a new opportunity - not to fix yesterday's mistakes, but to make good choices. Yesterday happened, I can't change it, but I can do things differently today.

And really, you only had a 3 pound net gain, which is within the acceptable fluctuation. Good luck with getting back to your goal weight, I know you'll do it!

Kathryn said...

Boy, Celestial Dragon is looking great! You'll have the whole thing finished before I even start mine. I love to see your progress.

corinna said...

thinking good strong thoughts for you!
do well.

Lesleyanne said...

Lovely progress on your Celestial Dragon. I still have a load of weight to lose so don't beat yourself up you will get back on track.

jane said...

Great progress on Celestial Dragon. Don't be too hard on yourself - you have made great progress and I'm sure you will get back to that place where everything is right for you to achieve your goals.

MrsB said...

I always find myself having moments like that, where I eat the wrong things and then beat myself up over it. But then I seem to kick myself, and get back on track...I'm sure you'll get there eventually - give it time.

Celestial Dragon is looking fantastic!

Christine said...

Your recent trip is bound to have thrown your eating habits out of whack. Be patient, you'll adjust back in no time.
By the way, my aunt used to run a shop that sold jeans, and she said if you can do a brand new pair up without help they are too big

Carolyn NC said...

Sometimes it's so hard to get back on track - it's a lifelong battle. But you've done so much and you can do this, too. It's always hardest to keep those few pounds off at the end, too. Keep it up; it'll happen. I need the mojo you had to begin with. Sometimes the start is good, but the day doesn't always end well! Your stitching looks great.

claudia said...

Have have not been able to get myself back to the WW rooms lately. There are other circumstances I have been working through, but those I am thinking are just a fancy excuse. Thanks for getting it out there, you have made me aware of what I need to be doing as well. Hang in there Dani!
Celestial Dragon looks great! I can't wait to watch it's progress.

AnnMcD said...

Let me add my Hang in there Dani...you can do it. This is jsut a temporary set back!
Meanwhile Celestial Dragon is coming along really well!

CindyMae said...

Dani, over the last couple years you have done an amazing job. I know that you want to be right at that goal weight but a couple pounds is not the end of the world. You can do this! We all have times in life when we feel frustrated and things just are not going our way BUT, even though easier said than done, we can not let it get us down. We have to just jump back up and keep going! Dani, you are a very strong and beautiful woman and you can do this. Just hang in there!!

Myra said...

Hi Dani! I have enjoyed reading abut your DR trip. I can certainly sympathize with you on the weight thing. Don't beat yourself up too bad - if it was an easy thing to do we would all be supermodels! Great progress on the dragon piece - that blue is just gorgeous. Have a great weekend!

Karan said...

Must be something in the air Dani - I've managed to put almost half a stone in the last month, all through bad choices. I see it as a minor glitch.... the nicer weather will mean more salads & more time out in the garden & generally being active, so it'll soon be off again. We'll both get there! :0)
The new WIP is developing nicely - enjoying watching it. :0)

Lisa said...

To coin the phrase above from Karan...it must be something in the air. It seems that the more I age the harder it is to "control" what goes in my mouth and when stress and less sleep come into play...well, it becomes that much harder. Relax, don't stress over it, over food and so on. Think about what non-food things you like doing - stitching, taking a walk on a spring day and so on...fill your days with those things. And continue to write, blog, journal...some time that helps too.

And btw...beautiful work on Celestial Dragon. The colors are so beautiful and rich!

Charlene ♥ SC said...

Nice stitching project. Your mojo will come around -- sometimes there are just a few days when you need a break. You've stated the facts and know the results if you don't heed your knowledge...

Joanie said...

Don't beat yourself up! Look at how far you've come not how much you've slipped. My WW leader says that you always get a Do-over. That's the beauty of the plan.

Now, with that being said, I sympathize with you. I've gained 8 pounds since September and am having a devil of a time losing it. I'm chalking it up to a lot of stress at home and at work. I feel like you do and I'm not happy with myself. But I've put myself back on the plan 100%. If I bite it, I'll write it!

Good luck and I'll be cheering you on!

Julie said...

CD is developing nicely.
I've eaten way too much chocolate this past couple of weeks - i know my downfall!

ollie1976 said...

I'm right there with you Dani. You'll get back on track...you know you can be successful and you will be again.
CD is beautiful!
-Jen

Carol said...

I think it is so hard to eat well when away from home, Dani. Just take it one day at a time and don't be so hard on yourself...Look at how much you have lost and be proud of that! I think that is amazing--60 pounds!

Now that spring is here, can you get out and walk more? I'm a real walking addict :)

Loving your progress on Celestial Dragon--those blues are amazing!

Shelleen said...

I am so sorry to hear of your frustration. I need to lose around 100 lbs and I am fine on the weekends. DH works nights so I eat when he leaves at 8:30 pm even though I am not hungry. I know that roller coaster feeling. Hang in there and don't give up.

Claire said...

Aw honey, I'm sorry. But I know you'll get back on track this week. You can do this! Love ya:)

Lynn said...

Don't beat yourself up too much over this Dani! Let's face it, we all slip up at times and you have come so far up 'til now. I know how determined you are and it won't be long before you're right back on track.
I've lost 12 lbs over the last 2 months but I'm worried that now I'll be at home for the next 6 wks that I'll be far more tempted than usual. I just have to be sure that none of the temptations make it home to my fridge!

Lady P said...

Dani, I'm with you. If you find any extra mojo, send it my way. 50lb lost with WW, two moves and another continent later and I've put back on 15lb. Bleh! But we can do it!!

Siobhan said...

I can sympathize with you, Dani. I've gained and lost--and then triple gained--weight all my life. You can do it!! Hang in there. Take each day at a time and don't look back, just look forward.

Beautiful stitching progress!

Giovanna said...

I'm sure you can do it! You've come such a long way, a little rebound is almost inevitable I think.

Love to see your CD growing - just beautiful!

Suzanne said...

I can sympathise with you. Since the birth of my last child I have been trying to lose weight and was doing well until Christmas. I lost all my enthusiasm to maintain my weight and it's been slowly creeping back up.

Keep at it, you have done so well and I am sure that this is just a small bump in the road for you.

Michelle said...

Great progress on Celestial Dragon!

Just be positive - I am sure you'll get back on track.