If you're a long time reader of mine, then you know that I used to be overweight and over the last two years I've lost just over 60lbs through Weight Watchers meetings. For two years I had this drive/focus/determination to loose my weight and be healthy! I did just that, I lost my weight a few pounds at a time and slowly I became a more active person, overcoming a lot of my old obstacles/metal roadblocks.
In the last six weeks I have struggled, oh boy I have struggled! I've become frustrated and just disgusted with myself. While I was away in the D.R. I put on 2.5lbs (food choices most of the time were beyond my control, but portions were), while the other ladies I went with lost 3-4lbs each! How frustrating! I put it down to my body turning the carbs we ate (it was a very high carb diet) right to fat. Then when I returned I tried to eat properly and be active, but I ran into another roadblock where I just can't easily control myself and what I eat, that's the Knowledge and Needles retreat. I put on another 2.5 lbs that week, boy my new jeans, I could barely do them up after that! Next was the week of my brithday, again more lack of control more bad choices.
So I went from 146 on March 3rd before my trip (perfect, my goal weight is 145)
I guestimated 147 on March 9th since I was unable to weigh myself
When I got back 148.5 on March 16 prior to tretreat
Then up again to 151 on March 23 after tretreat but before my b-day
I dropped 2 lbs to 149 on March 30th after my b-day (not bad)
After Easter, this Tuesday 0lbs stayed at 149 (not a gain so can't really complain)
For April 13th I don't have high hopes the way this week has gone the best I can hope for is another 0
So as you can see the numbers aren't going the way I wish they would.
All of this really is my fault, I'm not stopping myself when I know I should, at times not tracking so accurately, sometimes "creatively". My brain knows its all a matter of smart choices, portion control, weighing and measuring, proper tracking and moving more. Somehow I just can't do this 100% lately. I feel bloated and gross (I know should I really complain I'm still way ahead of where I used to be, but I'm not where I want to bed), my pants are tight, and I don't like that feeling, its this constant reminder that I'm not currently at the right weight.
So I've been waking up each day with the resolve to start fresh, to get back on track and to have a 100% on program day. A few days each week I have been able to do that, eat right, track right, and move more. On the other hand there seems to be more days were I slip up and loose that control for a little while and eat something I didn't intend to, but then not have just one, but two or three. So I know what I need to work on, I know how to loose weight. I just have to push through, find my WW Mojo and get back to goal before April is out!
My home is always set up to be the right environment for me and food, there are no temptations in the house, no sweets (my weakness), I do have acceptable point-friendly sweet things in the house, just not my "red light foods" (foods that once you start eating you can't stop until its gone). I have a great 3km circuit I can run during fair weather, and a treadmill in the basement for poor weather. So there are really no excuses, its all up to me.
I just had to get this all down and out there. Hopefully clearing the air will help me get focused this weekend and continue my next week in the right direction. I want feel good about myself, my body and get that scale going in the right direction!
So after my whining, complaining and beating myself over the head, would you like to see some stitching???? I have been working on my focus project this week, Teresa Wentzler's Celestial Dragon and its moving along nicely! I finished the top left hand corner and have moved onto the top right hand corner. If all goes well maybe I'll be moving onto the bottom corners early next week.
Celestial Dragon
Happiness Corner (Chinese charachters are stitched over one)